The Narratives - Death by a 1000 Cuts

Dr. Balfour Mount, the Founder of Hospice Care in Canada, an Officer of the Order of Canada, as well as an Officer of the Order of Quebec, coined the phrase, “palliative care”.

This Blog started in October of 2008, in an attempt to respond, in some small way, to a question that Dr. Mount asked those of us attending the 17th International Congress on Palliative Care in Montreal last September. He paraphrased his question, his challenge, by describing the present dire state of Earth. Because of global warming, uncontrolled consumption of resources, overpopulation, a lack of foresight and our own inertia in response to this crisis, Earth, our only home and provider, is dying. Dr. Mount asked us what we were going to do about it. It was a profound moment.

Sandra is courageous, insightful, caring and has a great sense of humour. In 2005, she was diagnosed with cancer. She writes most days in her Live Journal. Last week, she wrote a piece that I found so powerful, so poignant and meaningful for those of us who are Palliative Care clinicians, for all of us who read Whole Earth Care and those of us who have loved ones who are ill. I asked Sandra if she would allow me to share it with our Virtual Community. She generously agreed. Here is the excerpt from her Live Journal.

Death by a 1000 Cuts

"There’s the concept of death by 1000 cuts – torture through the cumulative effects of many small injuries. That’s a bit what today feels like.

Nothing I’m dealing with is particularly bad, but the combined effects are wearying. The nausea is pretty much under control, but I always know that I’m going to feel nauseous at some point during the day. Same with the vomiting – it’s down to less than once a day but still not gone. And often at night, - so I wake up and wonder if I should throw up or just go back to sleep.

Every day, I get 3 sub-cutaneous (under the skin) injections. Not terribly painful, but it does hurt, and it’s every day. I have dressings over both the drains and over my chest port. Although the nurses are doing a really good job of taking care of it, the skin under the dressings is starting to break down a bit from the tape. And that hurts a bit. The drain that drains my stomach, leaks a bit, and the fluid burns when it stays on the skin too long and it hurts a bit. They change the dressings frequently, and pulling the dressings off hurts a little bit, too. And there’s a bit of an odour from the drain that I find distasteful.

For some reason, the stomach drain sometimes aches. I can’t figure out what causes it, so I can’t prevent it. And at other times, I get cramping in my abdomen. These cramps happen on an irregular basis but hurt when they do occur.

One of the potential side effects from the drug I’m currently on is painful hands and feet. So far it’s been fine, but recently my hands have started to hurt – just a little, but it’s there.The thrush hurts, too - again, not a lot, but the lesions hurt intermittently.

Sometimes I’ll be lying there and realize that nothing hurts anywhere and I don’t feel nauseous. Then I’ll just lie there quietly, afraid to disturb anything. Nothing I’m dealing with is terribly bad by itself, but when added together I am finding them wearying – death by 1000 cuts."

Thank you, Sandra.

Death by a 1000 cuts – with compassion, let’s think about our patients and families we care for and care about. With open hearts, let’s think about our Earth and the 1000 cuts we inflict upon her and her sentient beings every day. With love, let’s think about our family members and friends who are ill. And, with gentleness, let’s tend to ourselves as we struggle with our own disappointments, insecurities and ineptitudes, with the bureaucracy in the workplace and all the other things that are difficult but we can’t change. Take care.

If you would like to follow Sandra’s Live Journal, contact me at moczero@sympatico.ca .

For information on Dr. Balfour Mount go to:

http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Support/Support/Your+Stories/Current/Dr_+Balfour+M_+Mount.aspx

http://www.mcgill.ca/wholepersoncare/people/bal_mount/

http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/story.html?id=896d005a-fedd-4f50-a2d9-83a95fc56464

Next week, we begin the first Posting of, Katie, The Answer Lady – Questions with Answers. If you (and I’m sure you do…) have questions about your green practices, the environment and living responsibly with Earth, send them to moczero@sympatico.ca .
Katie is ready to respond.

Earth Family First,

maureen

(Photos of Japanese swords, hands and question mark sign by Google Images) (Photos of drifter giving coins to poor woman with child by Jorge Jimenez F., Scarboro Missions)

In some parts of the world, Friday, February 27th is Polar Bear Day. In celebration of these magnificent neighbours of ours, here are two great photos Caroline took while in Churchill, Manitoba this past autumn.